merry christmas

Not because you think its cool

Helps me forget what's really going for the time being.

R.I.P

my red eyed albino guinea. hope guinea pig heaven treats well my friend. you were beautiful and unique.. im going to miss you. although i wasnt there for u when u died. im sorry for what ever happened. mary is kind down in the dumps, but i know she loved you as well as i. dont eat all the carrots up there.

it's so much nonsense , it's on my conscience

i feel like i'm loosing more then i've ever won and i'm ending up with none. I feel like my past is catching up with me and no matter how much i wish i did better in the past i can't change it.. it's starting to effect my future. I'm tired of feeling like i'm stuck, i'm tired of feeling like something is missing in my life, i'm tired of feeling like there's more out there for me then this atmosphere i'm in. I've always known i would "GET OUT' but not on these conditions.. i know your wondering wtf is this women talking about now? i'm planning on moving to tennessee in jan.. i've been complaining for more then half my life i've been in this earth about getting away from "my problems" and now i feel like i can stop complaining and actually make a difference cause i'm a young adult now and i have the abilities to do so now. I just wish the reasons why i want to move wasn't for those reasons. But i realized along time ago my family and my life isn't a nice story book so i just need to remove my self and move on. God put me here for a purpose and i'm going to make the best out of it no matter how hard it gets, all i can do is try. I didn't have a perfect child hood nor a perfect teen life and i'm not letting my adult hood get ruined either, I want so much for my self and maybe sometimes it might be to much, but i only live once and i truly want to make the most out of my life. I want to be someone even if it's not the most important person in the world, i just want to make it... i have to.. i see my family and all there struggles on both sides and i don't want that for my self.. it's starting to get real out here and i feel like i'm starting to break... but I AM A VERY STRONG WOMEN .. i get that from my grandmother . and i honestly think she's the reason i believe in my self.... i'm doing this for her.. i really am, i feel like everyone has always failed her and even though shes not here, she's in my heart and i'm not going to be another disappointment to her. i refuse ..not only do i want to do it for her.. i need to do it for my self .. i have to much potential not to.

The public.

More and more each day i realize how the world really is. I used to be so naive to how people can be, i used to always try and find the good in people reguardless of what they have done or will do. I realized i am a good person and people realize that and because of that i get taken advantage of, and yes i have no one to blame but my self. It's hard because that's my personality, i feel like i have to be there for someone , it makes me feel good helping people. Maybe because i know how it is to not have someone there, so i'm always willing to help. BUT LATELY enough is enough. People seem so needy lately and idk if its me and how my attitude has been ..but i've realized people are so damn rude..ignorant, and selfish. i hate only seeing the ugly in people ..it's depressing. I have 3 jobs now two that i've been working for a while and all my jobs deal with the public.. the people.. the customers. I understand that not everyone is going to be the nicest, but the way you treat people everyday can make a big difference. Like for example.. saying thank you, or please.. USE YOUR MANNERS. I get annoyed with people to the point i'm starting to hate the public...like hate HATE HATE HATE. There should be ways you treat people.. i wish people would stop and think hmmmm "idk what this person is going through.. they might not have control over certain situations so let me be polite and try and work this out because this problem is not the end of the world so i'm going to treat this person with respect just like they did me because they are human just like me." I feel as if i dont owe you anything and nor does anyone else owe me anything .. but respect should be given in any situation especially if your getting respected. I just feel as if i give soo much sometimes and i dont get anything back.. im trying to have control over it.. and i dont know if im doing the right thing but im starting to become more and more selfish everyday.

it be like that sometimes

SUMMER 2011

ima little on the late side

well i did all i could and gave all i had, but no matter how perfect someone is or was for you , sometimes you have to do whats better for your self , cause i cant keep myself and keep you too. I have nothing bad to say besides age can really matter sometimes. Maybe if he was on a different level more of a mature level and he didnt have a block in his head .. things woulda been actually perfect. In this stage in my life i cant have someone bring me down. We clicked so well .. friends? ehhh i dont know. All i know is im making choices that i feel will improve my life and i didnt see you in that plan with the things you were doing... youll realize the mistakes in the long run... i dont have the time to teach someone how to treat me. i need a person the comes with the package.. and even though i didnt expect to fine something that fits me soo soon.. i might have. But i gotta still observe the waters. hmmmm well i guess my quest is still on. I learn something new about my heart each day :)

THE END .

!!!!!!!!

in my dreams

Fergie at her best , I love the lego dress she wore at the nick performance. WHENS SHES DONE WITH IT I WANT IT!

ONE BAD ASS COUPLE

ALL I CAN SAY IS ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNN

I'm scared to lose love but even more scared to love again

The anger I've adopted. The feelings been aborted

So now I press ignore if ever Cupid tried to call up

They call me better now. See when everything is stopped

And your loves in hindsight and you see everything its not

Notice everything it wasn't. Realizing why it shouldn't ever be again

Cause in the end its not bout what you put in.

Fuck kissing and hugging. They love pushing your buttons.

New love is so beautiful. Time just makes it ugly.

But fuck it i accept it. no longer will neglect it

That means I never trust em.

Which way from here?

I need a break. From... life period. I don't know where i wanna go in life. I'm so indecisive, maybe because I'm scared of failure. I wanna do the most with my life , live it to the fullest and most importantly be happy.I feel as if im not accomplishing anything, and this time is crucial for my future, now im making decisions that will effect my future. I used to have a set plan, but now i'm like fuck a plan. I need to be doing something other than what im doing now. Yeah, i'm in school but I feel like i'm just wasting time, im not even doing anything that deals with my major. I'm wasting time. I want so much out of life and i know i can have it. But i feel like somethings missing right now. Im tired of living in a routine, i want something different to happen. Make things more exciting. I am searching for happiness and i know i'll find it. Just right now i need to take a break.. just a breather from everything and maybe i'll think straight. Spain here i come! I plan on leaving in August or September for a month or two.. with my best friend Alyssa.. I need to be on my own and who better to spend it with then my best friend who's going through somethings too. If everything works out.. this will be the best thing.

close your eyes and listen to it

This makes me feel good

Jai Paul

Beginning a delicate pop tune with the words "Don't fuck with me" is weird enough, but London's Jai Paul takes things even further, throwing in some wobbly synths, blaster samples, and weird vocal harmonies without ever losing sense of the tune's melodic core. As this song is a demo, there's no release information on it yet. Still, head over to dude's MySpace for some more tunes.

what happened to all the promises that were promised?

good night

valentines.

Something that i've been working on.. its a late present.. ugh im lazy lol.

famm.

\

"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous."-coco chanel

My ladies MARY.JANE

but it was really my heart on the line.

But it was not your fault but mine

And it was your heart on the line

I really fucked it up this time

Didn't I, my dear?

If I were a painter And could paint a memory.

chewy:)

you'll never be whats in your heart.

blonde

WHAT THE HELL?

...

where were you when we were getting high?

i just don't give a fuck.. i don't think i ever did.. just took time to realize it:)

cover up ^_^

it felt like it had been forever..

ahaha and the first thing we do is blaze!

and make videos . smh . now.... hopefully taniya comes home!

5 months

We've had and are going to have our ups and downs. But being with you is all worth it .

it's funny how things end up

notorious

my nigga

WHERE'D YOU GO?

Matthew Leonard
"I wannah go back ... Back then , soo we can start again "

about an hour ago via Text Message


Here we go again.. im stuck in my ways. Shit happens for shit to happen, its cause and effect. Im sorry . it seems like my brain is wired this way .
Indeed we have been through alot and lately things seem to be sour . maybe its me.. ive noticed a pattern in my relationships. SO I COULD TAKE THE BLAME... but simply ... its not the case... at first im the sweetest thing.. but once you fuck up... its like it sets off something and i change slowly... i dnt do it on purpose.
RIGHT NOW I THINK IM JUST VENTING

but for it to get to the point where you have to say "we look foward or go our own ways" WHERE HAVE I BEEN ? has it really gotten to that point? yeah.. we've been arguing ALOT. but overall ... Our relationship is good. We just butt heads cause we're always striving for who is right .. and in a relationship WHY THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER?

ive come along way .. along way ...and i dnt like dealing with the bull shit .I warned you in the beautiful begining how i was. Why didnt you just pay attention to the warnings love? i didnt mess up. you have, and i learned to cope with it because i see something in you .. but i blame myself for the change . Now it comes to the choice.. but if we look foward .. will we really be looking foward ... and if we go our seperate ways we've wasted so much and would it be worth it?

again.

Damn, I love you, but this is crazy,
I have to fight you almost daily,
We break up so fast,
And we, we make up so passionately

happy first of the month .

You gotta march with me first.

x3

As long as someone is rich, no one should be poor. As long as someone has knowledge, no one should be ignorant. As long as someone is able to love, no one should be hated.
.

Any other day, I would of just let you, pass me by Cuz I see you got situations And I've got mine but baby its OK

Her face glow like I was exposed to sunlight
She's happy,
The smell of her fragrance, baffled my nostrils
I can see through her eyes, she's feeding on in the possible
She blushes, as I kept splashing her compliments
Polite thank yous, is all around, she crush the mints
Developments, smooth keys from the piano
Changed the mood, like we changed the channel
This is art, Picasso, I got him beat in the flesh
I'm staring at beauty, Nefertiti, heaven bone in the chest
Yes, everywhere she step, went off like a flare gun
Stilettos on, parquet floors
Miss thing, she's a fierce one, two and three
Bad little mama, she built like Alicia Keys
No facade, her strut is hard, based on books by
Intelligent jail crooks, writing to let the time fly